TGIF

I don't even work (outside the home) anymore, but damn, I love Fridays. Friday is the day I know that I will have help for the next two days. Friday is the day I know that my husband will almost always be home at a normal time and sometimes even early. Friday is the day that denotes "fun stuff ahead". Yup, I love Fridays.

In other news, I can't bend over anymore. Nope, if something falls to the floor, I have to implore a three yr old, or try to get a 1 yr old to understand well enough, to hand it to me. This makes life in general quite a bit harder. Think of all the reasons you need to bend down in a day--put on underwear/shorts, tie your shoes, pick something up, plug something in, get something out of a low cabinet, unload the bottom rack of the dishwasher... So, I've decided that from now on, I'm going commando, wearing only non-laced shoes, burning candles for light, leaving every single crumb on the floor and HIRING A CLEANING SERVICE.

OK, don't get too excited, I swear I have pants on, really only the no-lace shoes and the cleaning service are true. I've been debating for a couple weeks now (I had someone come out and give me a quote), but just felt too guilty about paying someone to clean the house when I stayed home full time. Several of my girlfriends gave me a kick in the ass and said, hey, your primary job is taking care of kids, your 7 mos preggo, and if you can afford it, why the hell not?

Yeah, why the hell not?! I seriously need a product called Guilt B Gone, because it eats at me with regularity. I'm constantly worried that I'm screwing up this motherhood thing, that I'm not a good enough wife to my husband, that I could/should being doing more, doing it better... Granted, I was a very selfish, spoiled child, um teen, um young adult. Yeah pretty much selfish until the whole kid thing where selfish is a luxury I just didn't have anymore. So, I understand why I feel guilt, I let my perceived (and real) inadequacies make me doubt myself and my motives. If only I could find the balance between letting a little bit of guilt motivate me to do better and understanding that I don't have to be superwoman. That I haven't broken my kids, that I'm a human being who will never be perfect.

Heat Stroke Strike

So, I think the heat this past week has totally fried my brain. It's never a good thing when walking outside is akin to standing in a convection oven turned on high. Thankfully, it looks like a storm system is moving through this afternoon and taking some of this oppressive heat with it. We'll be back to temps in the blissful upper 80s by tomorrow. More importantly, overnight temps will fall back down to the 60s, thank God. Maybe I'll just become nocturnal until summer is over, I should get used to it now, it's not like I'll be sleeping much at night in a couple months anyway. Regardless, I'm not going outside anymore unless my house is on fire, cripes, maybe not even then, it'd still probably be cooler in here.

So, all this melty heat crap has me absolutely convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that I never ever ever ever want to be pregnant in the summer again. (All you folks in the Southwest, how in the hell do you survive summer en fuego, er prego?) OK, not sure that's saying a whole lot since I'm not sure I want to be pregnant again any time of year. Three, hmmm, my husband is one of three, I'm basically an only child, but have two half brothers, so I'm sort of one of three as well. *insert a bunch of symbolic crap surrounding the number three* Then again, I'm sort of partial to even numbers, and from what I hear, once you're outnumbered, who really gives a shit, right? So, I guess what I'm saying is that I have no freakin clue what I'm saying.

Did you catch any of that? Yeah, well live in my placenta brain a few days and it will be crystal clear. I swear pregnancy makes you stupid. You can actually FEEL the brain cells draining into the fetus. Normally, I'm a fairly intelligent and intelligible person, preggo, I'm a great big mass of gobblety-gook. Ask the BWB, he takes great pleasure in poking fun at my utterly nonsensical ruminations. And to him I say, car cord! (<---sorry private joke) So, this is probably why I've been such a bad blogger. I don't feel like I have many new insights into pregnancy, and I'm not feeling particularly smart or funny, so I just stare at my non-updated blog, drool a bit, and then play Spider Solitaire for a while.

Two months and counting until return to brain function...

30 wks

And all is well. I had my OB appt yesterday and things are going smoothly. In a strange turn of events, I've gone from measuring 3-4 wks ahead to measuring right on target. I had a feeling that the baby has shifted when my belly no longer seemed crammed up under my boobs. And while this means a bit of relief for my ribcage, my left kidney isn't celebrating anything.

In other news, it's HOT. Yeah, it's summer and it's hot, and I don't like it. We're currently in the middle of a little heat wave here in MO, and the temps are breeching the 100 degree mark, with indices in the 110s-120s. So, basically it's as bad as winter whereas I'm cooped up in the house with two restless boys. The only relatively ok activity is being submersed up to your nostrils in a pool, even then it feels more like a bath than anything. Sigh, hurry up fall, my very favorite season of the year.

I've been pretty bad reporting what the boys are doing lately. So here's a little update.

GB is 15 mos and doing great. He's maintaining his stringbean stature measuring in the 80th percentile for height and 25th for weight. He's still a little daredevil, constantly climbing and jumping and making mommy a nervous wreck. He's also started talking which is so cool, he mostly sticks to the basics: dadeee, hi, me and nana (banana). Yes, notice how mama is decidedly absent. In addition to his verbal communication, it's no surprise that he has learned how to shake his head no, and uses it correctly in response to certain questions. The boy has never had a problem communicating when he didn't want to do something. He's at such a fun age and I'm a bit melancholy about disrupting it with a new baby. I mean, he's still my baby.

DB is 3 1/2 and turning into such a kid. When he isn't driving me totally batshit with his typical three yr old behaviors, he's the sweetest most awesome boy. His imagination has blossomed, and I regularly find him engaged in some sort of pretend play. He also constantly surprises me with his new found grasp of concepts. He learns quickly, though you often wouldn't know it until he surprises you with something you taught him days or weeks before. DB is big into books and reading right now. He would have you read to him all day. He's also very social and loves being with other kids. He's great at sharing and does really well with his little brother. And when I said sweet, I wasn't kidding, this boy is so loving and affectionate, you can't help but adore him. Of course there is the talking back, mealtime frustrations, bedtime issues, and super duper hyperactivity to let you know he is indeed three. I have to careful not to let those thing overshadow the wonderful kid he is.

Is there a white trash gene?

This summer we've been spending some time with our friends at their neighborhood pool. It's a really great one for the kiddos, it has the gentle slope into a foot and a half of water and a big play structure in the middle. Then it gradually slopes down into a deeper rectangle of water where you can swim laps. DB and his best friend have a great time, and when you're big pregnant and it's 172 degrees outside, there's nothing like being submersed in a pool.

Coincidentally, every time we've gone to this pool, another family has been there. The family consists of a man, woman and 2 yr old boy. During our first visit, we watched as the two year old ran pell mell around the pool, sans any type of flotation device, without so much as word from his parents. OK, well once, I saw the mom chase him as he ran the opposite direction, but that was the extent of the effort. In addition to the potential drowning, the kid also randomly picked up other people's stuff and ran off with it. He snatched some cigars from our stuff and a set of keys from some people sitting next to us. Did his parents even notice? Nope. I retrieved the keys from him and another woman had brought back our cigars. Did I mention the parents were drinking--whiskey? Not just a sip, they had a whole bottle on their table in addition to a cooler of beer. Niiiccce. I'm all for having a poolside cocktail, but find it utterly irresponsible to get sloshed while "supposedly" caring for a toddler. I think we all left the pool that day just a little stunned.

Next time we were at the pool, it was the same situation, much drinking, much neglect of two yr old. This time the father actually moved from his spot behind the table and was in the pool rough housing with some other men. I once had to step between him and GB to keep him from backing into him while throwing a football. Did he say as much as sorry? Nope. So, this is when we find out from our friend, that this same guy had stolen the poker money from the neighborhood game the previous week. The money was there, he came in to watch, when he left the money was gone, but I guess there was no definitive proof, so he got away with it. Lovely. Meanwhile, this whole time, the mom is out smoking (can't smoke in the pool area), running to refill her cooler, and generally ignoring the fact that she has a child.

We were just at the pool again on Sunday, and surprise, who was there? Yup, same family, but this time they had a grandfather type person with them. Now, gramps actually did pay attention to the boy to some extent. That was a refreshing change. Meanwhile, the couple partook in their typical drunken behaviors and the complete disregard of their son. Matter of fact, the BWB overheard the father laugh at how the kids favorite place to play was the cement pennisula separating the kiddie area and the adult area, and how worried everyone was about his kid falling in. Yeah, um, ha ha. Asshat. So, we swim and play with the kids and generally ignore the 2yr old to the extent we can being responsible people. The grampa chatted with our kids and splashed with them a little. We told our kids to leave him be, not talk to strangers etc... Really, we just didn't want any interaction with this family at all. I know my husband was just looking for a reason to go head to head with the drunk dad. We leave for the afternoon without incident, just another day of shaking our heads at people's true lack of propriety.

So, fast fwd to yesterday. I get a call from my friend A, she says I have something to tell you. OK, whats up? Remember that old man from the pool Sunday, the grampa type person? Uh huh. Yeah, just saw him on the news. He got arrested for inappropriate contact with a minor, at the pool, that same day, the day we were there with OUR minors.

*stunned silence*

Um, fuck. BWB is going to blow a gasket.

Now, being watchful parents, I know that he didn't have any contact with our kids, and since he prefers little girls (sick motherfucker), I guess DB wasn't his intended target anyway, but my friend's child his a girl and her friend who was also there has a girl, and just wow. I was just sick. Still am sick. Apparently this guy has some priors for the same thing, and those loser white trash people brought him to a pool where there are KIDS. Shit, they let him around their kid. It just blows the mind, no?

Ahhh Pregnancy

Despite the fact that I generally love being pregnant, and find it truly miraculous that I'm growing another human being in my uterus, I'm so ready to not be pregnant any more. I'm not sure if its being pregnant in the summer, pregnant with two active boys, pregnant again too soon, or being bigger pregnant than usual for where I am (30 wks). I feel so much more tired and uncomfortable this time around. I swear this baby girl has shoved her knees between my ribs about now. I'm pretty short waisted, so I understand there isn't a whole lot of room, but the boys managed to distribute themselves in a fashion where it didn't feel like someone left a rib spreader inside me.

Here are some other fun facts about being pregnant:

-No matter how worn out you are, and how much you need to rest up for labor, delivery and having a newborn, you won't sleep--at least not for long. Because a) you'll have to pee 10 times a night b) there is no longer any position that is comfortable to sleep in c) you're mind never ever shuts down.

-Growing milk glands--ouch. And in preparation for nursing nipples grow to the size of tea saucers.

-Morning sickness can return with a vengance once the fetus decides to relocate your stomach to your chest cavity. No matter how hungry your are, if you eat more than a teeny tiny meal, you'll be treated with heartburn, nausea or vomiting. Weeeeee.

-Those kicks and movements you once found really cool are now totally uncomfortable, and you wish the damn baby would just lie still for a while.

-It really does feel like there's a bowling ball sitting atop your cervix, and it pinches, aches and makes walking like a normal person near impossible.

-Having your innards repositioned, squashed and pummeled really screws up your digestive system.

Don't you just want to run out and get knocked up right now?!

No News is Good News

Well, no call from my OB's office, which (I'm guessing) means that I'm negative for GD, yay! On the other hand, it likely means my baby is HUGE. Because babies come in three sizes you know, wee, not so wee, and freakin' huge! (that was just for you BWB). I guess the ultrasound will tell. Heck maybe my abs are just so weakened by pregnancy that other than a layer of skin, there isn't anything else holding this baby in.

And for your viewing pleasure, my 28.5 wk belly shot:




















Now, you might be saying Slacker, you're not that huge, but to that I say, 11 weeks to go! Hello, that's when the baby does the most growing and gaining. Sigh, when I can no longer stand upright, and you have to roll me everywhere, please try not to point and laugh.

4th of July in pictures

Needless to say, the driving was tough, especially with such a short turnaround, but we made the most out of our time together. Here are pics from the annual clambake, a tradition we revived six years ago and have been every year since.

There were of course clams, 1000 of them to be precise...(ick)













There were cousins... (aww)












There were tractors, tanks and even timeouts












But here's what it was really all about, and why we make the drive every year--family.

28 wk Appt

I had my 28wk appointment yesterday, the one at which I must ingest the super-ultra-extra strength orange soda to check for gestational diabetes. That crap never cease to make me nauseated and jittery for the entire day, just yuck. I'll find out today or Monday what the results were, normally I wouldn't sweat it as I easily passed the 1hr tests with both boys, but there is one thing different this time. I'm measure 3-4 weeks ahead in fundal height (the measurement from the pubic bone to the top of the uterus). A couple weeks either way is pretty normal, but when you start getting over 3 wks ahead, you either have multiples (NO!!), a WHOPPING HUGE baby, GD or some other potential issue like fibroids. See, I knew my belly was big, much bigger than normal for this time, for me anyway. Heck, I compared with my friend A who gave birth last week, and I was nary half and inch smaller in circumference. ACK. Thankfully the BWB had us both by several inches (heee). So, it looks like I'll probably get another u/s to see how big the baby is, maybe I just grow big girls?

Otherwise the appt was same ole same ole. BP was normal, heartbeat was strong, I gained 3lbs putting me at a total of 9lbs up (according to me 13lbs, I think I was suffering from post holiday chub when they weighed me the first time).

The pregnancy has gone by quickly thus far, but I fear with the enormity of the bellay, the heat of summer and THREE more months of gestation ahead of me, things are going to SLLLOOOOOWWWW DOWN.

We have returned!

Miraculously, everyone is still living. I'm still wiped after 17 hours on the road yesterday, so I'll blog about the trip later tonight or tomorrow. I'll just leave you with two tidbits.

1. Staying up until 1am playing poker when you plan to leave at 5am the next morning is a VERY BAD IDEA.


2. Pregnant women should not throw horseshoes, just no.