I don't even work (outside the home) anymore, but damn, I love Fridays. Friday is the day I know that I will have help for the next two days. Friday is the day I know that my husband will almost always be home at a normal time and sometimes even early. Friday is the day that denotes "fun stuff ahead". Yup, I love Fridays.
In other news, I can't bend over anymore. Nope, if something falls to the floor, I have to implore a three yr old, or try to get a 1 yr old to understand well enough, to hand it to me. This makes life in general quite a bit harder. Think of all the reasons you need to bend down in a day--put on underwear/shorts, tie your shoes, pick something up, plug something in, get something out of a low cabinet, unload the bottom rack of the dishwasher... So, I've decided that from now on, I'm going commando, wearing only non-laced shoes, burning candles for light, leaving every single crumb on the floor and HIRING A CLEANING SERVICE.
OK, don't get too excited, I swear I have pants on, really only the no-lace shoes and the cleaning service are true. I've been debating for a couple weeks now (I had someone come out and give me a quote), but just felt too guilty about paying someone to clean the house when I stayed home full time. Several of my girlfriends gave me a kick in the ass and said, hey, your primary job is taking care of kids, your 7 mos preggo, and if you can afford it, why the hell not?
Yeah, why the hell not?! I seriously need a product called Guilt B Gone, because it eats at me with regularity. I'm constantly worried that I'm screwing up this motherhood thing, that I'm not a good enough wife to my husband, that I could/should being doing more, doing it better... Granted, I was a very selfish, spoiled child, um teen, um young adult. Yeah pretty much selfish until the whole kid thing where selfish is a luxury I just didn't have anymore. So, I understand why I feel guilt, I let my perceived (and real) inadequacies make me doubt myself and my motives. If only I could find the balance between letting a little bit of guilt motivate me to do better and understanding that I don't have to be superwoman. That I haven't broken my kids, that I'm a human being who will never be perfect.